Christmas Crack

Here’s a recipe that takes 10 minutes, uses 4 ingredients, has minimal risk of injuring you in the kitchen (unless you can’t resist licking the spoon (warning #1)), and creates maximal refrains of “Oh my god, you need to eat this now” (seriously, I took it to a holiday party and it was such a hit).

Christmas Crack (cue angels singing)

Time: 10 minutes plus cooling (warning #2)


  • Saltines
  • 2 sticks of butter
  • 1 cup of brown sugar
  • 2 cups of chocolate chips (I used milk chocolate but dark chocolate would be better)


Preheat over to 400. 

  1. Put saltines in a layer on a jellyroll pan, cookie sheet or whatever other flat surface you have that is oven safe. Eat the broken saltines while you do everything else.
  2. PhotoMelt the butter and brown sugar and bring to a boil. Do not taste because you will burn yourself. Do not lick the spoon because you will burn yourself. Wash the pan out immediately when you’re done because otherwise you will be tempted to taste the dredges and it will still be hot and you will burn yourself (warnings #3-5).Photo-1
  3. Pour melted brown sugar mixture over saltines and pop the tray in the oven for 5ish minutes.
  4. Take out and while still warm (do not try them at this point because you will burn yourself; I did not learn my lesson from burning myself while licking the spoon in step 2) sprinkle chocolate chips on top.
  5. Photo-2Wait a minute and then use a spatula to spread the melty chocolate chips over the surface.

Let them cool, eat the non-perfect ones to remove any doubt that you can execute perfection, and if you have enough restraint, package any remaining ones for others. If you are feeling fancy, put something pretty on them. Otherwise, just be proud you were able to save enough from your face to share with others. Ta-da!

The Holiday Not Wreath (AKA How Slack Craft Was Born)

Welcome to Slack Craft! My first post is about how not to make a wreath.

Scene: Hubs and I are trimming our Christmas tree. Hipster holiday is playing on Spotify, we’re drinking eggnog lattes, and our stupid tree from Whole Foods is shedding leaves and branches like our mountain dog sheds fur in the summer.

Action: I see two twigs on the ground, grab some leftover twine that bound the tree and co-opted two suction cups from the thing that holds my razor in the shower. I tied the twigs together with the twine, tied the bound twigs to the suction cups, and affixed the holiday abomination to the glass door in front of our house. Seeing it was sufficient, I made another for the other door. Ta-da! No wreath holiday decorations made from sh!t I found around the house.

Feeling extra fancy? Add ornaments. Clearly I wasn’t feeling extra fancy.

Slack Craft Holiday Not Wreath

Slack Craft Holiday Not Wreath


Hi. I’m Kat, and this project inspired Slack Craft. Learn more about me here and stay tuned for more tips on faking fancy for slackers.